So I wrote this the other night after thinking a bit about our little guy and his impending arrival, all of the changes we've been through, and how excited we are to meet him. Nothing other than something I want to save for him to read someday...

In these last few days before you arrive, I feel so many different emotions. I am so excited to meet you, hold you, hear your cries, learn your expressions, see what type of personality you have (will you be loud and chatty like me, or more reserved like Daddy?), and see you start to grow and develop into the person you will be who will change this world somehow with your being in it.

In the moment that you arrive, I know that from then on, my life will be forevermore, completely, 100% different. And I am so excited for this change. I don’t feel a loss for my old life; I feel excitement for the life that lies ahead of me. You will rock our worlds so completely (even the cats don’t know what to expect) and we are excited to start this journey with you.

I do feel a sense of sadness in these last few days though – as I lay on the couch, or am driving, or sitting in my office, and place my hand on my stomach and feel you move underneath my skin. Feeling your kicks, punches, dance moves and swishes over the past few months has been so equally strange and comforting all at the same time. I commented to your Daddy that it will feel weird to not feel you move around in there, only to look next to me and see you there.

When you move, I feel a connection with you, and as selfish as it may sound, the connection is simple, and purely just “Mine.” For the past 9 months, you have been mine. Solely mine. And I am yours. You are so small, yet hold my heart completely. I am the one who has felt every one of your movements, every hiccup which made me laugh, your kicks and punches. From the beginning of our journey together, I knew every change I was experiencing in my body was from you.

At every chance I have had to hear your heartbeat or see you, I have cried. Tears of happiness for this wonderful gift. To share these moments with you over the past 9 months has been something I will never, ever forget. It’s something that will always bond us, something that can never be taken away from us. When you are older, and have children of your own, I will remember “our time” together. I know we will have many other moments throughout our life together, and I know I will cherish them all equally. But this part was the first part and it will stay with me forever.

I am admittedly scared of you arriving. I am scared of the newness of the situation, of the change it will bring. Of not being prepared - and knowing that I’ll probably never be fully prepared for what you have in store for us. But I know that I’m not going into this journey alone. I have your daddy, a wonderful man who loves you so much already. And I have you. My constant companion in life - my little boy. And with that knowledge, I am calmed. I know I may not be fully prepared, but that I love you already, so much and with all of my heart, and that is what I need to hold onto. Because, my sweet little guy…you are mine. And I am yours, completely and forever.

A couple more...

A couple more photos of me and my big belly...

36 Weeks!

How Far Along: 36 weeks (28 more days to go! Really?? How did that happen??)

What "They" Say About Our Baby's Development: Your baby is still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an ounce a day. He now weighs almost 6 pounds and is more than 18 1/2 inches long. He's shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered his body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected his skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. Your baby swallows both of these substances, along with other secretions, resulting in a blackish mixture, called meconium, will form the contents of his first bowel movement. At the end of this week, your baby will be considered full-term. (Full-term is 37 to 42 weeks; babies born before 37 weeks are pre-term and those born after 42 are post-term.) Most likely he's in a head-down position. But if he isn't, your practitioner may suggest scheduling an external cephalic version which is a fancy way of saying she'll try to coax your baby into a head-down position by manipulating him from the outside of your belly.

Mama: Now that your baby is taking up so much room, you may have trouble eating a normal-size meal. Smaller, more frequent meals are often easier to handle at this point. On the other hand, you may have less heartburn and have an easier time breathing when your baby starts to "drop" down into your pelvis. This process — called lightening — often happens a few weeks before labor if this is your first baby. (If you've given birth before, it probably won't happen before labor starts.) If your baby drops, you may also feel increased pressure in your lower abdomen, which may make walking increasingly uncomfortable, and you'll probably find that you have to pee even more frequently. If your baby is very low, you may feel lots of pressure and discomfort as well. Some women say it feels as though they're carrying a bowling ball between their legs! You might also notice that your Braxton Hicks contractions are more frequent now. Be sure to review the signs of labor with your practitioner and find out when she wants to hear from you. As a general rule, if you're full-term, your pregnancy is uncomplicated, and your water hasn't broken, she'll probably have you wait to come in until you've been having contractions that last for about a minute each, coming every five minutes for an hour. Of course, you'll want to call right away if you notice a decrease in your baby's activity or think you're leaking amniotic fluid, or if you have any bleeding, fever, a severe or persistent headache, constant abdominal pain, or vision changes. Even if you're enjoying an uncomplicated pregnancy, it's best to avoid flying (or any travel far from home) during your final month because you can go into labor at any time. In fact, some airlines won't let women on board who are due to deliver within 30 days of the flight.

Weekly Food Comparison: A crenshaw melon

The Good: Good cardiology appointment and good massage therapy appointment this week

The Bad: More contractions, and feet swelling (although if I've made it this far with no swelling until now, I feel fortunate!

The Weird: His "sweeping" motions across my belly...and knowing it's his arms/legs!

Currently Craving/Avoiding:

Avoiding: Not really avoiding anything...other than big meals. I feel full so fast now!

Craving: Fruit, water

Doctor Updates: Seeing the doctor on Monday

Total weight gain/loss: 30 lbs. (happily I only gained 1 lb in the last week, so I think the doc was right about it being fluids the week I gained 4 lbs!)

Maternity clothes? Yes...still squeezing the last little bit out of some non-maternity tops. I basically can wear only a few outfits a week and keep washing and rotating them!

Stretch marks? 2

Sleep: I've started to have some pregnancy insomnia. I usually wake up at about 3am and can't get back to sleep. I've also been waking up for good at about 6:30am most weekend mornings.

Best moment this week: Feeling this little guy move more and more, getting things accomplished in prep for his arrival, feeling really calm about him coming...

Movement: Constantly

Labor Signs: Practice contractions

Belly Button in or out? I think it's officially "out"

What I miss: Not having heartburn

What I am looking forward to: Doctor's appointment this week to see if I'm dilated any more...and planning when this little guy will be making his arrival into the world!


The Weekly Belly Bump: 36 week photos!

And, not a belly photo, but one of my kitty Eponine...
snuggling under blankets and my body pillow I sleep with every night...

Babymoon

Tito and I took a mini-babymoon this weekend. Really it was just a chance to get away for the two of us and spend time together before our little boy arrives in a short amount of time.

We headed into Seattle early on Saturday morning because we had a baby care class to take. It was from 10am - 3pm, so we spend the majority of the day there learning about swaddling, changing diapers, safe sleep, etc. Watched "The Happiest Baby On The Block" and that converted Tito to believing in swaddling and the other 4 S's working (as I'd been telling him from early on that the techniques do work.)

After the class ended, we headed to the hotel which overlooked Lake Union. It was a gorgeous day - 60 degrees and sunny. After checking in, we decided to take a walk along the water, since we weren't too hungry yet. We walked for about 40 minutes, then headed back to the hotel. They had a happy hour, so Tito got a beer, and I got a soda. We just sat and talked and watched some Olympic coverage of the cross country skiing (hoping the Peruvian single man team was doing well, but sadly we didn't see him...the race was won by the Swedish though, so I was happy!) :) After that, we headed back upstairs and Tito changed. I'd bought him tickets to see Bon Jovi for Christmas, and since I couldn't go, our friend Julian agreed to go with Tito.

Tito left at about 6:30pm, and I stayed in the room, ordered room service (which ended up being free because they forgot about me - and I was happy because I'd ordered a grilled cheese sandwich, salad and brownie a la mode, so it was definitely worth it to get it free!) and did some work. I've got a bunch to do for my replacement, so I managed to finish up the job description stuff I had for her...she starts tomorrow! I fell asleep around 10:30pm watching "Almost Famous" and then ended up waking back up when Tito got back about an hour later. He told me all about the concert, showed me photos and we talked for a bit before I fell asleep again.

This morning, we slept in late, then packed up and headed out to breakfast. Enjoyed some pancakes and eggs, and then came home and enjoyed the weather some more - sitting out on the porch in the sunshine while I edited a piece for work was the perfect way to end the day!

Here are some photos from the weekend (the light was good in the room so we got some silhouette shots of me and "the belly"...definitely not pro pics, but nice nonetheless - at least we thought so!)

We were trying to re-create this shot from our wedding, but Tito kindly pointed out that my belly was a "wee" bit bigger now than it used to be... :)

Doctor update

Had my doctor's appointment today...after arriving early and having to wait over an hour for my NST, I got in there and his heartrate was good the whole time - high 140's and 150's, with a couple of accelerations and a couple of times when he was moving around it went into the 120's and around 115 for a few seconds. All normal per the doctor.

Made it to my appointment with the doctor and had to wait almost an hour more (thank goodness I'd brought work with me - a piece I had to edit!) and he finally came in and they swabbed me for GBS (group beta streptococcus) which if I have they need to know so that they can give the baby some antibiotics after birth. I'll find out next week if I have it or not. They said some women just have it, you don't catch it from anyone, which was good to know. After he did that test, he checked my cervix to see if I was dilated...and I was surprised that I was! Guess those contractions I've been having have been doing something! He said it was minimal though, less than 1 cm which is good for now. But that my cervix is softening, so this little guy is preparing to join us...we'll see how I progress over the next couple of weeks!

I'm pleased with his heartrate, and that he seems content on staying put for a little while longer. I can't believe I'm 2 weeks from term today...

Tomorrow we have our Baby Care 101 class and then we're staying in downtown Seattle for our mini-babymoon. I'll be swimming in the indoor pool (yes, I'm putting on a bikini since there's no way my belly will fit in my one piece suit) while Tito goes to the Bon Jovi concert with our friend Julian. Then ordering some room service (maybe some yummy dessert?) and meeting up with Tito after the concert...then massages on Sunday! I'm excited!

35 Weeks!

How Far Along: 35 weeks (35 more days to go!)

What "They" Say About Our Baby's Development: Your baby doesn't have much room to maneuver now that he's over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds. Because it's so snug in your womb, he isn't likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times he kicks should remain about the same. His kidneys are fully developed now, and his liver can process some waste products. Most of his basic physical development is now complete — he'll spend the next few weeks putting on weight.

Mama: Your uterus — which was entirely tucked away inside your pelvis when you conceived — now reaches up under your rib cage. If you could peek inside your womb, you'd see that there's more baby than amniotic fluid in there now. Your ballooning uterus is crowding your other internal organs, too, which is why you probably have to urinate more often and may be dealing with heartburn and other gastrointestinal distress. If you're not grappling with these annoyances, you're one of the lucky few. From here on out, you'll start seeing your practitioner every week.

Weekly Food Comparison: A honeydew melon

The Good: Good doctor's appointment last week...things are progressing!

The Bad: More contractions...and more painful ones, although no more than 2 an hour. My body is practicing I guess...

The Weird: Feeling the hard lumps on my stomach that I know are his arms, elbows, hands, feet, knees, etc.

Currently Craving/Avoiding:

Avoiding: Certain foods that don't seem appealing - changes all the time.

Craving: Fruit, water

Doctor Updates: Today is my weekly appointment

Total weight gain/loss: 30 lbs. - last week I went to get weighed and I had gained 4 lbs in a week! My doctor assured me it was all fluids at this point but STILL!!

Maternity clothes? Yes, all bottoms and dresses. Have almost had to switch to all maternity tops...regular t-shirts are a joke and they stay down over my belly until I move in any way. Then I don't notice that they are riding up at all!

Stretch marks? 2

Sleep: Getting worse...waking up about 3-4 times a night, also waking up a lot earlier than my alarm, and on the weekends really early. I'm really sensitive to sounds now as well and often wake up to the cats playing, or getting sick or sounds outside when I used to sleep through them!

Best moment this week: My weekly massage therapy appointment...he worked magic and made the pain in my lower back and hips disappear!

Movement: Constantly

Labor Signs: None, unless you count the practice contractions

Belly Button in or out? Popping out more and more

What I miss: Having a glass of wine

What I am looking forward to: The final stretch.


The Weekly Belly Bump: 35 week photos!

I woke up this morning feeling like the baby has moved all of his weight to the outer edge of my belly...so painful and hard to walk around when your weight is distributed like that!

34 Weeks!

How Far Along: 34 weeks (42 more days to go!)

What "They" Say About Our Baby's Development: Your baby now weighs about 4 3/4 pounds and is almost 18 inches long. His fat layers — which will help regulate his body temperature once he's born — are filling him out, making him rounder. His skin is also smoother than ever. His central nervous system is maturing and his lungs are continuing to mature as well. If you've been nervous about preterm labor, you'll be happy to know that babies born between 34 and 37 weeks who have no other health problems generally do fine. They may need a short stay in the neonatal nursery and may have a few short-term health issues, but in the long run, they usually do as well as full-term babies.

Mama: By this week, fatigue has probably set in again, though maybe not with the same coma-like intensity of your first trimester. Your tiredness is perfectly understandable, given the physical strain you're under and the restless nights of frequent pee breaks and tossing and turning, while trying to get comfortable. Now's the time to slow down and save up your energy for labor day (and beyond). If you've been sitting or lying down for a long time, don't jump up too quickly. Blood can pool in your feet and legs, causing a temporary drop in your blood pressure when you get up that can make you feel dizzy. If you notice itchy red bumps or welts on your belly and possibly your thighs and buttocks as well, you may have a condition called pruritic urticarial papules and plaques of pregnancy (PUPPP for short). Up to one percent of pregnant women develop PUPPP, which is harmless but can be quite uncomfortable. See your practitioner so she can make sure it's not a more serious problem, provide treatment to make you more comfortable, and refer you to a dermatologist if necessary. Also be sure to call her if you feel intense itchiness all over your body, even if you don't have a rash. It could signal a liver problem.

Weekly Food Comparison: A cataloupe (yuck!)

The Good: More rolling and swishing in my belly...

The Bad: More contractions...

The Weird: Getting exhausted so easily. No longer seeing my feet at all. Not being able to bend in half anymore (putting on pants is hard and socks is basically impossible!)

Currently Craving/Avoiding:

Avoiding: Certain foods that don't seem appealing - changes all the time.

Craving: Fruit, Thin Mints!

Doctor Updates: Seeing my doctor today for an NST and appointment.

Total weight gain/loss: 25 lbs.

Maternity clothes? Yes, all bottoms and dresses. My regular, non-maternity tops are starting to get too short as my belly pops out more!

Stretch marks? 2

Sleep: It's ok...I wake up tired all the time though

Best moment this week: Feeling him have hiccups, almost daily, in the mornings. Washing all of his baby clothes, blankets, and sheets to get ready for him to arrive.

Movement: Constantly

Labor Signs: None

Belly Button in or out? Popping out more and more

What I miss: Not being tired from walking to the bathroom at work (granted, it's a long hallway!)

What I am looking forward to: Seeing the painting his Uncle Sean is painting for him, packing my hospital bag this weekend.


The Weekly Belly Bump: 34 week photos!

Nursery update

So with all of the new things from the shower this weekend, I took the opportunity to re-organize the nursery on Sunday morning. Here are some photos:

Name banner above his crib and new moose pillow/toy

As you enter the room - you can see the banner, the mobile I made, and his new bouncy seat

Nursing/rocking area with the new "boppy", and a burp cloth made by Morgen with his name embroidered on it

Changing area with new dresser top organizer for his diaper things and a new changing pad cover

His closet filled with clothes, burp cloths, bibs, extra sheets, swaddlers and more!

Baby Shower

This weekend I had my shower, thrown by some great friends. It was such a good time, and my dress arrived in time! (But now I have two and need to deal with the pain of returning one through the mail.) :)

Tito and I worked it out that he drove me over to the shower, met some friends (a husband and a boyfriend of two of the girls invited to the shower) and they went off to have some "guy time" while we all did baby shower stuff.

The shower was at my friend Michelle's house and the decorations, food and drinks (they had a hot chocolate bar!) were awesome! I enjoyed a TON of food, and we played a game, and I got to talk to some friends I hadn't seen since Christmas or before. Then we opened presents, and I was overwhelmed by the generosity of my friends and family (my mom and sister in law had mailed things before hand that I opened there!)

After opening the gifts, we played another game and then had some delicious cupcakes (that were decorated so well, I didn't want to eat mine - but I did!) :) Then we had a chance to talk some more before everyone had to leave. Tito and the boys came back and helped load up the car while I got to walk to the car.

I had a great time, and feel very blessed to have these women in my life. Now we wait for the next part, which is when the baby arrives and everyone gets to meet him!

Here are some photos from the day!

Before leaving the house

Getting ready to open gifts

Opening gifts from my mom - a sweater she made for the baby with Peruvian yarn

More handmade gifts from my mom - some "Maine" baby bibs...lobster and a moose bib!

Some of the ladies

Opening gifts from Aunt Agi

Cute jammies with animal head feet from Tara

All of the ladies who could be there

Button cookie favors!

Delicious cupcakes!

The banner Michelle made

With the lovely hostesses - Michelle, Brooke and Tara

Dress saga update and new stuff

I stopped by Motherhood Maternity this morning and got the dress, so I have something to wear tomorrow! And I was able to try it on and am actually pretty pleased with how it looks! Apparently they had put it on hold but they weren't supposed to since it was marked down and on sale, so I lucked out because the girl who put it on hold didn't know that! I also picked up some black hose, but we'll see if I wear them. I've got a pair of heels picked out so I'm looking forward to the excuse to dress up! :) The other dress STILL hasn't shown up, but it looks like it's in my town today...so it might come today and if so, I'll arrange to have them pick it up next week from my office so I can get my money back.

This morning, I received an email from Old Navy that they're having a maternity sale. I forwarded it on to a friend who is pregnant, thinking I wouldn't be able to use it. But I popped on there and realized that I could get some nursing tanks and possibly some pj's to wear while in the hospital or when I first get home.

I'm glad I did go on there because I got these:



Nursing tanks with built in bras for $12.50 each (basically the same as Target's recommended ones but on sale for cheaper.)



Lounge pants for $4.99 for the hospital. I know they are not ideal since they'll be checking me a lot when I'm in the hospital, however, having been in the hospital A LOT in my lifetime, and most recently last week where they were checking my cervix (man that procedure is uncomfortable and more uncomfortable when your doctor who's doing it (it wasn't my doc but the attending) looks like he's about 22 years old!) I would prefer to be in my own clothes. Last week I had a pair of hospital pants on given to me by them...and they were size XXL. Even with my belly, they were huge on me. And they had no other sizes. I had to pull them super tight to fit me and still they were falling down so I spent most of the time in bed. So I figure I could spend $5 on PJ bottoms that are mine and fit well and are comfy and I won't mind pulling them down every once in awhile.

And since I was there, I couldn't help but head over to the baby section and found a couple of things -



Since Tito likes Superman and he's got these cute shots of him when he was about 4 years old in a Superman costume that he wore ALL the time...(he's already talking about dressing our little guy up as Superman for Halloween this next year, when I was thinking more "animal" or something!)


Since his daddy thinks he'll play drums like he does


Just cause they were cute and on clearance

Grrr...

So my baby shower is this weekend, and I'd realized after trying to squeeze into a cute empire waisted dress of mine that I can not fit into non-maternity dresses any longer. So I broke down and bought a new dress from Motherhood Maternity online. Mostly because I have better luck getting sale prices online. And going into the Motherhood Maternity store annoys me because the sales girls are all young, pretty, thin and follow me around too much. It's too much sales attention in there in my opinion.

So I ordered it on 1/26. Got a confirmation email that said it would be shipped in one business day. They gave me a tracking number. I checked it daily and there was no information. Then two days ago, finally there was info that said it had been delivered to the shipping place in NJ. So I had some hope. Then yesterday and today the info was the same. So I just called them to find out where it was and if it would be here by Friday so I could wear it Saturday morning, and they said it had been backordered and didn't ship out until 2/1 and they said it was sent with standard shipping and probably wouldn't be here by Friday. Grr...

So I called the local Motherhood Maternity store and thank goodness they had the dress and in my size (especially good since it's clearanced now and makred down for $20 less than I paid for it!) So they have it on hold for me and I'm picking it up tomorrow after work hopefully! I'll feel better when it's in my hands! So I called motherhood.com and they said they couldn't cancel the order since it was in transit. And that when it got here, I could return it at the store. Not ideal since they only give store credit and I'm only going to be pregnant for a short amount of time more and won't be needing stuff for that long! So there is a chance I can fight them for a full refund, but we'll see....

Here's the dress that I'll hopefully wear!

33 weeks!

How Far Along: 33 weeks (49 more days to go!)

What "They" Say About Our Baby's Development: This week your baby weighs a little over 4 pounds and has passed the 17-inch mark. He's rapidly losing that wrinkled, alien look and his skeleton is hardening. The bones in his skull aren't fused together, which allows them to move and slightly overlap, thus making it easier for him to fit through the birth canal. (The pressure on the head during birth is so intense that many babies are born with a conehead-like appearance.) These bones don't entirely fuse until early adulthood, so they can grow as his brain and other tissue expands during infancy and childhood.

Mama: As your baby fills out even more of your belly, lots of things might start to change: Whereas before you were sashaying, you may find yourself waddling. Finding an easy position to sit in — let alone sleep — is becoming more of a challenge. And bumping into chairs and counters is par for the course. You may be feeling some achiness and even numbness in your fingers, wrists and hands. Like many other tissues in your body, those in your wrist can retain fluid, which can increase pressure in the carpal tunnel, a bony canal in your wrist. Nerves that run through this "tunnel" may end up pinched, creating numbness; tingling, shooting or burning pain; or a dull ache. Try wearing a splint to stabilize your wrist or propping your arm up with a pillow when you sleep. If your work requires repetitive hand movements (at a keyboard or on an assembly line, for instance), remember to stretch your hands when you take breaks — which should be frequently.

Weekly Food Comparison: A pineapple - yum!

The Good: Lots of movement! Great doctor's appointment!

The Bad: Contractions although not regular and not super painful.

The Weird: Having him lying with his head pressed into my lower back, causing me intense back pain a few nights and ending up with me lying with my head down on the pillow and Tito rubbing my back really hard to get this baby to move into a new position.

Currently Craving/Avoiding:

Avoiding: Certain foods that don't seem appealing - changes all the time.

Craving: Fruit, Thin Mints!

Doctor Updates: See previous entry...weekly appointments and NST's from now until he arrives!

Total weight gain/loss: 23 lbs.

Maternity clothes? Yes, all bottoms and dresses.

Stretch marks? 2 (apparently the 1 needed a "friend" but they're teeny - less than half an inch long and both in the same spot, way below my belly button)

Sleep: When he "sits" in a good position, it's good.

Best moment this week: Stellar NST at the doc's!

Movement: Constantly.

Labor Signs: None

Belly Button in or out? Still an innie but pushing the boundaries everyday!

What I miss: Bending down... :)

What I am looking forward to: Finishing his mobile and hanging it, finishing his name banner and hanging it, seeing the painting his Uncle Sean is working on for him...


The Weekly Belly Bump: 33 week photos!

I think this is about as much as my belly button is going to "pop"!