And the beat keeps running, running....

So 11 weeks ago, I started in a running club through Stroller Strides. I ran a 10k last September with the same group and I hadn't really run since so I wanted to be able to do it again.

I arrived at the 10k this morning and met up with the other moms from Stroller Strides. The race began, and I set a good pace for myself. I was in the middle of the pack, and having no shin splint/leg issues, and my breathing was right. I had a good running mix on my IPod, and it started out with the Glee cast's version of Florence and the Machine's "The Dog Days are Over." SUCH a good song. I was pumped.

Then the Black Eyed Pea's "I Gotta Feeling" came on at the right time, right as we were heading up a slow, gradual hill. This song always makes me smile, as it was the first song I heard on the radio as I was leaving my OB's office, when I found out I was "officially" pregnant with Santi (I needed a doc to tell me that yes, the 6 pregnancy tests I had taken were indeed right.) :) So Tito and I have always referred to it as the "Santi song", and it always makes me smile. I was wearing my "MOM" necklace, that has Santi's name and birthdate stamped into metal. I reached up to feel for it as I was climbing the hill and couldn't find it. And then I did. And it was resting right over my heart (and stayed there for the whole race.) And then I lost it and started to cry. As I was running. And I kept a good pace too. :) I cried because I was so happy, and so proud of what I was doing.

I was proud that I was setting a good example for my son, and I couldn't wait until he was a little older and could run with me. I was proud that this was my second 10k. I was proud that it was a little over a year after I'd had Santi and I was running another race (my second since having him.) I was proud that after having him via c-section and then having major complications leading to a second surgery, I was running this race. All the while keeping a good pace.

And then I started to think about the bigger picture for me - not just that I was proud as a mom that I was running the race but that I was proud of myself. Someone who had Kawasaki Disease at 15 and was left with multiple giant (8mm-13mm in size) aneurysms on both my left and right coronary arteries. Someone who has had three heart attacks since I was 19 years old, with my most recent being last year. Someone who will have to have bypass surgery at some point in the future (nearer rather than farther.) Someone who can look at parents of young kids who are getting Kawasaki Disease now and when they ask "will my child ever be able to live a "normal" life" I can confidently say yes. That I have these health problems, but I run! That I have these health problems, and I had a baby! And will have another one at some point soon! That the only limitation in my life is what my mind says I can't do...and even though it may be hard to get through the race, I can do it. And when I finish the race, there will always be another one, be it an actual race or a metaphorical race in life. But I can do it.

And I did it. I finished the race in 1 hour and 4 mins, which was 2 full minutes faster than my last race. I pushed for the last mile and ran that in 8.5 minutes. Shakira's song "Waka Waka" came on in my mix and the words really inspired me to push myself (aside from the "this time for Africa" part!):

"You're a good soldier
Choosing your battles
Pick yourself up
And dust yourself off
And back in the saddle

You're on the front line
Everyone's watching
You know it's serious
We're getting closer
This isn't over

The pressure is on
You feel it
But you've got it all
Believe it

When you fall get up
Oh oh...
And if you fall get up
Oh oh...

Tsamina mina
Zangalewa
Cuz this is Africa

Tsamina mina eh eh
Waka Waka eh eh

Tsamina mina zangalewa
Anawa aa
This time for Africa

Listen to your God
This is our motto
Your time to shine
Don't wait in line
Y vamos por todo

People are raising
Their expectations
Go on and feed them
This is your moment
No hesitations

Today's your day
I feel it
You paved the way
Believe it

If you get down
Get up Oh oh...
When you get down
Get up eh eh...

Tsamina mina zangalewa
Anawa aa
This time for Africa

Tsamina mina eh eh
Waka Waka eh eh

Tsamina mina zangalewa
Anawa aa

Tsamina mina eh eh
Waka Waka eh eh
Tsamina mina zangalewa
This time for Africa."

So I'm proud of myself. For finishing today in the time and way that I did, and for the fact that I know I will get up tomorrow and go and work out with my fellow Stroller Strides moms. And that I'll keep running the races, both actual and metaphorically.

With my favorite running partner - even though he didn't run with me today!