Details of a horrible night...

So to detail what happened to me last night...I'm still mentally processing it, and have gone through so many emotions over the past day.

I was essentially mugged on my bus ride home last night. It was actually 4:30 in the afternoon. I was minding my own business, sitting in the back of the bus, in the last seat near the window in front of the back door, in a seat alone. I was watching a video my Ipod Nano and the bus came to a stop and this kid (maybe 15 years old) reached over me from behind and grabbed the Ipod out of my hands...I didn't know what was happening at first, as he didn't have a firm grip on it, and had to grab at it twice. It all happened in the span of three seconds but it felt like 15 minutes had passed.

I got up and yelled for the bus driver to stop, and she did. When the kid had gotten on the bus, he got on with a big group of kids and I didn't pay too much attention to them other than that they were loud. I got up and demanded from the girls that he had been sitting with to tell me who he was. They looked scared ( I must have been a crazy sight!) and I asked what his name was. They said it was Tamir, and they said that his friends had just gotten off the bus with him, and I should go ask them and they could tell me where he lived so I could call the cops.

I saw the kid run across the street, and got off the bus and chased him but he had a 10 second lead on me, and was too fast. He disappeared, behind a convenience store. I ran over to his friends who were waiting to cross the street and asked them if they knew him. They played cool and said no...I wanted to smack the crap out of them I was so angry. So I ran across the street to the convenience store, knowing full well the kid had to be nearby or local as he took off like he knew where he was going. I asked the people running the register if they had seen someone tearing through their parking lot 10 seconds earlier. They had no idea what I was saying (I don't know how well they understood me cause I must have been a crazy sight) and said "no".

So since I had stupidly gotten off the bus, I had to wait for another one, which didn't come for another 25 mins...I tried calling Tito, but he wasn't answering because he was at an after school program. I tried calling my parents just to have someone to talk to and their phone was busy. I tried calling my brother and he wasn't home. I then just stood there and as the adrenaline was wearing off, I started shaking and crying. Thankfully, at that point it was raining so I could hide under my umbrella. :) I crazily vented to some random girl who I was unintentionally rude to...I think she thought I was crazy but nicely listened and said she was sorry.

I soon realized I was in the ghetto of Seattle, on Aurora and 105th for those of you who are familiar with the area, (there were bullet holes in the windows of the check cashing store of which I was standing in front of.) I don't know what I was thinking running after him because he probably would have beaten me up...but I was so angry! And I feel so defenseless and scared. So many thoughts were running through my head of how I shouldn't have sat there, how I should have moved (I had thought about moving a few mins before and didn't), how it could have been worse...I could have caught up to him and he could have hurt me. How he could have hurt me in trying to take it.

It's not that it was something that was worth a lot...but it's the fact that it was MINE. And that I worked hard for it, and that it was a gift to myself for my 30th birthday. And that I didn't stupidly lose it, like leaving it somewhere, or even get it pick-pocketed, but that someone physically ripped it out of my hands. All because he wanted it.

I've gone from crying hysterically, to angry, to sad, to trying to be positive about it and thinking if he wanted it so bad to steal it from me he probably needed it more or the money it would bring more than I do.

I am scared to ride the bus now. I have vowed to only sit up front now near the bus driver. If there's no seat, I will stand there. I don't care how tired I am. The old bus I used to take to our old office building went straight downtown and was filled with business people. This bus is a new one I take because of where my office moved. This bus goes through some really bad parts of town. And there are a lot of junior high and high school kids who ride the bus who are "bad kids"...I have seen them drinking beer on the bus, talking about drugs, getting into fights, etc.

I am also paranoid about people. For the rest of the ride when I finally caught another bus, all I did was look at people, clutch my purse and backpack close to me and give them the stink eye. I'm sure I looked crazy. When the bus got to its last stop which was the Northgate Park and Ride, I walked over to the mall and called Tito and told him to come and get me. As I was walking, there were some teenagers behind me and I kept looking over my shoulders and walking super fast. I felt like they were going to come up and assault me.

I hate these feelings. I hate that maybe I was naive before but I felt safe in this city. Even walking through Belltown and Pioneer Square, I felt safe. And now I don't. I feel like everyone is going to hurt me. I am giving evil eyes to all people! I find myself thinking things I don't want to think. I asked Tito if I can't have anything nice for myself now because someone's going to take it from me if they feel entitled? I just don't feel safe right now, although I am hopeful this feeling will pass. And if I'm having these feelings after someone just snatched something from me, I can't imagine how people feel who are assaulted or more and pray this doesn't happen to me.

This just sucks because it was such a good day. I was so happy to cast my vote in the morning for Obama, and was thinking about how things were going to change...and then I get ripped off while riding public transportation (doing a good thing for the environment!) and it's by a young kid, who we're supposed to be educating and is the future of our nation. I feel like kids today don't have the respect they once did, and maybe they're a product of their environment, but I also feel like there are just a lot more bad kids and bad people now.

I still need to process all of this...but I'm ok. I wasn't hurt, and I made it home alright. And Tito was so great, he came and picked me up when I made my way to Target. I was complaining that now I have to buy a new one, and he said not to, and that I could have his Ipod (one that he had gotten for free through work and he hardly uses.) He just made me feel what I wanted and needed last night, which was safe. Despite him being really sick and in bed himself, he made me feel better. Have I mentioned how much I love my husband?? :)

I had nightmares all last night though about the incident and eventually woke up and couldn't get back to sleep at 4:30am. Each nightmare was the same thing...me sitting there and just hands coming over my body and taking something from me. In one dream I elbowed him, the other I smacked the crap out of the kids who played dumb, in another, I caught up to him and he beat the crap out of me. I finally woke up after that one.

I know it's something small, something materialistic, something that doesn't matter. My dad kept saying he was so glad I was ok. That I didn't catch up to him. I know stuff like this and worse happens in Seattle all the time and other cities. It's because it's a city...and I know it happens in rural areas as well.

But I've got to try and move on. So, in the spirit of hope and the changes about to come in our nation, I am thankful for the fact that I'm ok and that I wasn't hurt during last night's incident.