Non-Traditional (and Some Traditional) New Mama Must Haves

So now that I'm a whole two months into this mom of two gig, I thought I would share some things that have helped me survive throughout this time. I've seen a lot of "must have" lists online, and I realized they were leaving out some crucial things - stuff for the actual mother, that don't necessarily have to do with the baby, but let you feel like a human being again, not just a food source, or a burp rag. So I compiled a list of both mama must haves and must haves for the baby.

Some things are definitely different than when I was just a mom of one child. I look back on that time and think of how much more free time I had, especially during this newborn phase. I was blessed with a baby who slept very well. Anywhere. I got a lot done - cleaning, laundry, projects. I showered every day, did my hair, wore make-up.

Now, thankfully, I still shower every day, and 99% of the time, I'm wearing make-up, moreso for fear that if someone came to the door on a day we were staying home that they'd be scared of what they saw if I wasn't wearing it. :) But I've found a few products to help me "fake it" a lot easier, as well as the typical baby products.

1.   Suave Professionals Sleek Shampoo and Conditioner - I have naturally curly hair that has turned from tight ringlets back in high school to more waves since I've gotten older. Add in the hormones from being pregnant twice, and I now have weird hair. Naturally curly in places, stick straight and won't hold a curl in others. It can be curly, but I really need to work at it with a diffuser, gel, curling spray, etc. So I wear it straight 99% of the time and use a flat iron on it. To cut down on damaging my hair too much, I only shampoo it every two - three days, depending on how active I am. That way I don't have to use the flat iron as much. This shampoo and conditioner really help to keep my hair straighter in between uses of the flat iron, and smell really good too! Plus, with the both of them costing less than $10, you can't really beat that!


2. "Sparkly" nail polish - I am barefoot all the time. I think I get it from when we lived in Florida, where I'd wear flip flops most of the days I wasn't working. I stopped wearing shoes in the house then too because it was too hot and it's just carried over since we've lived here. And now that we have kids who crawl around on the floor, we don't wear shoes inside at all. So since I'm barefoot all the time, I like looking at pretty toes. I don't really like the look of bare toenails, so I have them pedicured all of the time. However, the upkeep on a regular color (flat colors like reds, or a french tip) is a lot, and something I don't have a lot of time for anymore. So I discovered my new best friend - sparkly nail polish! It is very forgiving if you can't get a pedicure all of the time. I usually just cut my toenails short, file them, and throw this on quickly (while one baby naps and the other one is playing in the next room.) It makes me feel good to have somewhat pedicured nails, and they don't take as much time or precision as it would to apply a flat color.

Currently I'm wearing this gold from Sephora/OPI which is "I Only Shop Vintage": 

3. Burt's Bees Hand Salve - I wash my hands all the time. And because of this my hands get really, really dry. I found this salve long before I had kids and used it on my cuticles and my feet between pedicures. Now I slather it on my hands and my feet twice a day. It works so well, and I love that it's all natural. It definitely works better than any lotion I've used before (and believe me, with dry hands, I've tried A LOT!)


4. Hand sanitizer - any brand, any kind. I have one in my car, one in the diaper bag, and one next to my bed usually. I use this all the time as well since it keeps the germs off of me (and I use it on Santi too after we go to play dates, the grocery store, etc.)

5. Bare Minerals lip gloss - I got this as part of a kit of different beauty products last Christmas and LOVE it. It's just the right amount of color and isn't super sticky. And it helps me "fake" being made up throughout the day too!

6. Moby wrap - I have one that I made and it's a lifesaver. Especially with Gaby being so small and not able to fit into any other carrier initially. She loves to be held and will fall asleep instantly in this thing.

7. Infantino Mei Tai wrap carrier -  I have this exact print and it's so pretty. Plus this carrier is so much better for my back than anything with a buckle. I had a Bjorn for awhile with Santi and it just made my neck and low back hurt. I found this and was in love. And the best part is I can wear the kids facing in, facing out and on my back. I used it as a backpack with Santi in it (when he was 9 months old and over 20 lbs!) in Peru when we went walking around Lima and Miraflores.

8. Baby swing - we have this one, but any swing will do. They are life savers for the times when you actually want to put the baby down. This one that we have I love because you can change the swinging from side to side and front to back. And it has music and a twirling top that the baby can look at. The only thing I dislike about this one is that it's battery operated, and if we use it a lot it runs through batteries often.

9. Summer Infant SwaddleMe - These are the best swaddles for us with Gaby. We didn't swaddle Santi past 6 weeks old since he hated having his hands enclosed. But Gaby LOVES the swaddle. We have several swaddle blankets, but since she was so tiny in the beginning, she would work her way out of the tight swaddle. And then we discovered an old one of these in with the baby stuff from Santi and tried it. The thing we love is it velcros, so it really stays put and tight. And she'll fall asleep really easily when she's put into it.

 

10. Kawaii cloth diapers - We have these in two different sizes: the newborn size and the next one size fits all size up. They are great. They are pocket diapers, where you insert a microfiber or hemp insert into the pocket to help catch the diaper goodies. They velcro and they snap. And are adjustable in size lengthwise as well as width wise. Plus, they are cheap, but well made. I bought these online for about $7 a diaper whereas the Bum Genius, or other similar diapers, are about $15-$20 each. It's an investment up front, but it saves us in the long run. And I just wash the diapers every three days (alone in the wash with the wet bag) and it really takes no time at all. Right now I just throw them in when they're poopy and don't rinse them off, but in the future when there is more heft to the poop I'm looking into getting a diaper sprayer for the toilet. We have had only a few leaks, so these are great. We still use disposable at night, but using cloth during the days really saves money.

 

11. Bouncy chair -  You can get a bouncy chair starting at about $20. We got this one above at Target for Santi and he loved it. We are using it for Gaby (she's actually in it right now and I'm rocking her in it, as she likes the extra motion.) She naps in it during the day and sleeps in it at night. In the morning, I bring it into the bathroom with me so I can see her and she can see me while I shower. These are so great, and I love whoever invented them. They allow me to do simple things like shower, sleep, and brush my hair.

12. Pacifiers - Any kind. We didn't use them with Santi at all. The nurses tried to use them for him when he was in the NICU but we didn't want to cause any confusion, so we told them not to. And when he got home he just never liked them. So when Gaby started taking one, we didn't know if we should let her and just decided to let her have it, and to hopefully be able to wean her off of it by the time she's one. She prefers the Soothies and the Avent ones above, but really, if you have a child who is helped by one, then just let them have it. 

 13. Pacifier clip - We have the BooginHead one above. This is seriously one of those inventions I wish I had thought of. So simple yet so necessary. Helps when you are traveling or just when the baby might spit the paci out when they're sleeping. And keeps it off of the floor.

14. Pacifier pod - We have this one above, the JJ Cole pacifier pod in Strawberry Burst. It's cute, small and can carry about two pacifiers with their clips attached. I keep it on the outside of my diaper bag and have the paci's accessible at all times.

   

15. Reading material for you - you may be tired all the time, but you are going to get breaks. If it's your first child, the baby will sleep a lot. I was unable to "sleep when the baby sleeps" with Santi because he slept so much. And there is only so much tv you can watch, and the house can only be so clean. So I read. This time around, I'm more exhausted, but I'm able to take some downtime for myself and read. It's really necessary as it makes me feel like I'm more than just "mama".

16. Carter's First Year Calendar -  I love this perpetual calendar! I have a friend who gave me one for Santi, and it was great. I didn't have to have the baby book out all of the time, and I could record things easily such as doctor's appointments, milestones, etc. and then use it to cross reference the baby book. And this one is cute, as well as has stickers for the major milestone moments to put onto the calendar.

17. My Baby Book - Santi has this same one, and I loved it so much I got it for Gaby too. There are places for journaling, photos, etc. I loved the conversational style of the book, and it's just really well put together.

 

18. Belly binder - I had a c-section but I think this would be helpful for anyone after birth. Since I had a c-section though, this helped suck everything in, as well as provided support for my abdominal muscles and my c-section incision when I would sneeze, laugh or cough. Plus, I really think the use of it helped to train my abdominal muscles that their job was to go back into my belly area rather than hanging out. When I had Santi, I was given one from the hospital but it was way too tall for me since I'm short waisted. I wore it for a day and took it off because it would fold over when I sat down. This one, I bought and it was shorter and much more comfortable. I wore it essentially everyday for a month after I had Gaby and it really helped.

 

19. A good stroller - We have this double BOB Revolution above. You do not need a BOB, but I got it because I run, walk and participate in Stroller Strides every week. It makes sense for me. Whatever stroller you get, make sure you get one that's sturdy and holds up to normal wear and tear well, since it will become your "home base" when you're out and about. Ours on any day holds the diaper bag, snacks and drinks, books, and shopping bags if we're at the mall.

So there you have it, this is my list of new mama must-haves. Take from it what you will!

Santiago's Sesame Street party!

So I can't believe my sweet baby boy is 2 years old! We celebrated at home as well as this past weekend with a party with friends, and I think he had a great time!

I decided to have a Sesame Street party for him, since he loves all things Sesame. Pinterest was a great help and inspiration, as well as one of my favorite blogs, All Things G&D. I added a few personal things and I think it all turned out really cute! And of course, Santi and the kids all had a good time as well!

So come on in and see how we celebrated Santi - Sesame style!(If you're interested in any of the party details, I posted them below the photos, along with some links to where I got things.)

This was the invitation we sent out...

This is the night before - signs ready to go!

Big Bird greeted everyone as they walked in

Abby Cadabby peeking out from the bathroom

The entryway with balloons on the ceiling

 Santi loved this banner, especially being able to "read" the letters

Kitchen ready to celebrate!

Where else would Oscar go?

Drawing/coloring station for the kids

Ride on toys ready for the kids

View into the backyard

All of our Sesame Street books laid out for anyone who wanted a story

Bert and Ernie are ready to play too!

 Balloons filled with water and frozen a la Pinterest helped keep our drinks cool!

 Chocolate and candy covered popcorn was a hit (again, another recipe from Pinterest!)

 Bird's Nest cookies - a pain to make but they were yummy!

Who doesn't love goldfish?

The food table 

Gaby was so excited she slept through most of the party

Dylan, our youngest party guest, at 5 weeks old!

The sun came out so the kids headed to the back yard to play!

Singing Happy Birthday to Santi..he wasn't sure what to make of the candles!

Got the candles out with some help from Daddy

He had no issues diving into the cake!

I think his face says it all!

With Mommy and Daddy!

Thank you goodie bags for the kids - we filled these with goldfish crackers, crayons, a silly straw, candy necklaces and Sesame Street stickers

It was a great party - we went with primary colors which made it easy to decorate. Here's a supply list of some of the things we had for the party:

Party Supplies
Invitation:  Made by Etsy seller DimplePrints
Bunting hung from the front porch: Target (in their party section, but it was on clearance)
Dot favor bags: Target
Plates, Cups, Napkins (all in blue, green, yellow and red): WalMart, Target

Streamers: Target

Balloons: Party City
Sesame Street wall decals: Amazon
Stickers: Target ($1 Spot), WalMart

Food
Elmo's Goldfish

Big Bird's Bird's Nest Cookies (from this recipe on Pinterest)
Candy covered popcorn (from this recipe on Pinterest)

Veggie Platter

Telly's Make Your Own Sandwiches

Fruit Platter

Pretzels

Drinks
Water

Pink Lemonade

Soda

Beer
Wine

Rock Bottom

I think yesterday was the hardest day I've experienced in the past two months. It seemed as if all of the exhausting days and nights finally compiled and I woke up more tired than I've ever been before. Everything seemed to catch up to me yesterday, and I wasn't just tired due to lack of sleep, I was tired in general. Tired of the sleepless nights, the constant crying from Gaby, the constant whining and neediness of Santi.

I knew that having two kids would be hard. With Santi, we were blessed with an unusual child. He slept through the night (7-8 hours each night) at 6 weeks old, and he still sleeps great. He would sleep anywhere (bouncer, swing, on me, etc.) with no issues. He had no health issues (since we figure the first two weeks of his life that he spent in the NICU were enough!) and just was generally a very easy baby.

Gaby is so different. We are dealing with her having GERD (reflux), and she will sleep in fits and spurts throughout the night. She won't sleep in anything other than her bouncy chair. She starts the night in her chair in her crib (because we are trying to get her used to the crib so she will eventually sleep in it!), and then ends the night in bed with us since I usually nurse her in bed and will fall asleep while nursing her. This makes for a rough nights sleep for me since I'm constantly waking to either nurse her or when she's in bed, even if I fall asleep, I wake up constantly to check on her. I don't think I've gotten more than 3-4 hours of sleep a night for the past two months.

And on top of that no sleep, I wake up and have to watch a very active two year old, who is trying to test boundaries at every chance he gets. He's still dealing with the fact that his sister is here and taking up my attention, which I understand. But it doesn't make it any easier when he's screaming or crying because he wants something. Or melts down. Or throws something.

He loves his sister and is very sweet with her. He will kiss her unprovoked if she's crying. He will hold her hand. He loves to see her first thing in the morning and when he wakes up from his nap. But there are things he doesn't fully understand, like that he needs to be really gentle with her. So he will sometimes try to pull her out of her bouncy chair or the swing. Or he will get on top of her in the bouncy chair trying to "hug" her. But since he's a toddler he's rougher than he should be.

On top of caring for the two kids on no sleep, I have a house to clean, dinners and lunches to make, a yard to work on, errands to run, and general life things to do. Tito has been great at helping. He's even given me a night a week to go out and do anything I'd like to do. This is nice, although I've only gone once so far, but it's nice to have that time. It gives me the chance to run errands for me without kids in tow, see a movie, go somewhere and read a book, visit with friends, etc.

So yesterday it all compiled and I felt overwhelmed, discouraged and just generally down, on top of being exhausted. In talking with Tito, he said he'd do whatever he could to help me out. There are things like housework that he will help with. Or helping more with the kids.

Ironically, I had a physical appointment yesterday and I spoke to my doctor about what I was feeling. I told her about the exhaustion and just generally how defeated I was feeling due to Gaby not sleeping well, and my not getting sleep. I also mentioned to her that while I felt bonded to Gaby and love her undeniably, that I am still feeling like I'm not as bonded to her as I was with Santi at this stage. And what is odd about that is that with Santi he was in the NICU for the first two weeks, so I didn't have the one on one time I should have had. Whereas with Gaby, she was fine and was in the room with us from the beginning, so I felt like I should be more bonded with her. But sometimes, it's hard not to resent her a bit when she cries, takes my attention from Santi, or my sleep away. And then I feel extremely guilty for feeling resentful towards my baby.

I love her so much. I feel so blessed to have her in my life. I feel so happy and definitely like our family is complete. But it still feels like something is "off".  And I know it's normal (my doctor actually told me she went through something similar when she had her second child.) She told me she thinks I'm probably in the valley of the experience now, and in the next month we'll come out of it. Santi should be more adjusted to having his sister around, hopefully she'll be sleeping better by then, and we will have adjusted more to having two children rather than just one.

She encouraged me to remember me in all of this as well. She told me not to give up working out, as this will help me feel better and will give me more of a purpose. To not feel like everything needs to be done all at once (which is a flaw of mine.) Things will get done, and if we need to get someone else to do it for us (i.e. hire a cleaning service for a few months to do deep cleaning) then to do it.

She also encouraged me to get out with Tito, and remember us. We've been talking for about four months (so before Gaby was born!) about getting a babysitter so we could go on dates. We are still talking about it. So we're going to bite the bullet and hire someone to watch the kids.

Last night made a big difference - Gaby normally goes to bed around 8:30 or so and sleeps pretty horribly (waking every hour or less) until about 11:30pm. So Tito took that first shift and let me sleep. And this morning, even though I'd only gotten another hour or so sleep through the whole night, I felt so much better. Less tired, and refreshed. Such a difference. I think also talking about it yesterday with my doctor and Tito helped and made me realize I just need to get through the next month or so and that things will get better. "This too shall pass."

So it's not a miracle cure for everything, and Gaby still has issues with GERD and needing to be carried all the time, and Santi is still frustrated sometimes and throwing or yelling instead of talking about what's bugging him. But I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. That I can be the best mom I can be, still do things around the house, take care of me and take care of my relationship with Tito.

Two...

So I will post about Santi's birthday and his party soon, but I just wanted to share this photo of my little, not so little boy. I've had a hard time realizing that my baby boy is now two. Two is big. Two is a real little person. Two is talking (with Santi, SO much talking!), fully mobile, RUNNING, testing boundaries, the ability to do things like get on a stool and wash your own hands, climb the stairs alone, discover things, repeat everything, recognize a million symbols including what cars we have (Nissan and Toyota) and point out others when we're out and about.

Two is feeding yourself, thinking about preschool options, picking out clothes in the morning, listening to and following directions. Two is mommy getting ready to really potty train you. Two is mommy and daddy thinking about you transitioning to a toddler bed. Two is turning your car seat around in the car. Two is not a baby, but a full fledged toddler.

So knowing that Gaby is my last baby, having my first baby turn two was life changing for me. And just like that, something happens to remind Mommy that you may be a big boy now but sometimes you're still her baby. Like when we go out to run errands and go to lunch and on the way home, for the first time in almost a year, you fall asleep in the car. And Daddy has to carry you into the house and take off your shoes and jacket while you sleep soundly on his shoulder. So maybe two isn't so big after all, and you can stay Mommy's baby for a little bit longer.

DIY List page updated!

Check out the DIY List page at the top of the page...I updated it with things I've accomplished as well as added some new projects!

Santi's 24 month letter

So this is a day early, but I wanted to get it done while both Santi and Gaby were napping!


3/15/12

Dear Santiago:

Today you are TWO! How did that happen? As I’ve said in every letter, you are such an amazing little boy and we’re enjoying getting to know who you are and your personality. In the past few months a lot has changed with you…you became a big brother! You are so helpful with your sister Gabriela. You will bring me diapers when I ask, or if she’s crying you will hold her hand and give her a kiss on her head. You had one instance where you sat on her but you didn’t really know you were doing something you shouldn’t be doing.

Here are a few things I'd like to remember about this month:

1. You talk so much now! You say so  many things, and have a lot of sentences. You are also speaking in Spanish as well as English.

2. You repeat a lot of what you hear, either from us, other people, or tv. Sometimes we don’t think you’re listening and you’ll repeat something we’ve said.

3. You recognize a lot of symbols – Toyota (you will point out any Corolla and say “Daddy’s car!”), Honda, Starbucks, Costco, Petco, McDonalds (although when you see it you say “Diet Coke!” since when I go through the drive through I get a Diet Coke there!)

4. You remember things from books that we read you and will say them a lot. In one of your books there is a page about SUV’s and it says, “SUV’s can travel on rocky roads.” So when we’re out and you see an SUV, you will say this. Another book that is your favorite is one called Little Quack, about some baby ducks getting ready to leave the nest. The ducks say “No, Mama, no, I’m too scared!” and the Mama duck says “You can do it, I know you can!” and you will repeat this too.

5. You are wearing size 2T tops and some 2T pants, although you still fit into some 18-24 month pants. You are also wearing size 2T socks and size 5.5 shoes.

6. You hate getting your teeth brushed although recently you’ll allow us to brush them if we brush Rocky’s teeth first, and then yours. I also tell you that you don’t want to have cavities and that helps as well.

7. You love your train set and your garbage truck toy and still love your RolyPop toy. Cars of any kind are also a favorite. And anything with buttons.

8. You have figured out how to operate Mommy and Daddy’s cell phones to find videos you like to watch and apps to play with. You know how to unlock the phones, as well as switch between the programs.

9. You love Elmo, Nemo, Sesame Street, trains, watching videos of garbage trucks and firefighters, planes and construction vehicles.

10. You can throw a ball, kick it, run, have just started jumping off of the floor, and like to imitate Mommy at Stroller Strides with your exercises.

11. You like going for runs with Daddy and Mommy in the stroller, and like it now even more that you have the double stroller that has a snack tray for you.

12. You still love Rocky, and now have a Mickey Mouse who “talks” to you. He will say “Hi Santi! How are you doing?” and other various things. You love Mickey and Minnie, who you always say “girlfriend” to, since she’s Mickey’s girlfriend.

It’s been an amazing two years with you. We’ve loved seeing you change and all that you’ve learned. We are so excited for the next year with you (and many, many more!) to see how you change, grow and learn! We love you peanut!

Love,
Mommy and Daddy